Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
