It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
