Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
