why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
