I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
