Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
