You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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