You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Randomize
