next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
