i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
