I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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