Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
