I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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