If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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