we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
