Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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