its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
sex in a hospital.. check
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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