the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
