oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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