no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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