We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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