she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize