i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
