Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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