Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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