im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
