Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
