her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
areolas are like halos for boobs.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
