YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
