so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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