Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
