We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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