Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
