Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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