is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize