I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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