Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My hand turned me down
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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