9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
