I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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