i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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