talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
