I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She's the barista slut.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
