Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
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We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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