How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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