We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
