dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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