Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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