So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
