So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize