Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize
