even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
