where am i from again
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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