My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
