So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
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She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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