ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
