32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize