hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
