He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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