Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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