how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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