how do flat chested girls get laid?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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