Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
