I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
