So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
