cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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