How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
