Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Please don't give away my fajitas
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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